Abigail Pereira Aranha 
One day, I was a boy too much skinny and contemplative to be sexually attractive or even to be interesting to be around. Then, I found an article by a woman with advices on how a man like me could reclaim his manhood and be able to perpetuate the species. I thank her for her words. Well, some years before this article, the Japanese health minister Hakuo Yanagisawa said to Japanese women, about the population decrease, that "the number of child-bearing machines and devices is fixed, all we can ask for is for them to do their best per head, although it may not be so appropriate to call them machines". He had to apologize under warnings from Prime Minister Shinzo Abe[1]. When a female lawyer made a speech in Tokyo Metropolitan Assembly about maternity support and delaying marriage and an assemblyman said "you are the one who should get married first", he had to say to the press he didn't mean to insult her, but still said he "really hoped she could marry soon, bearing in mind this ongoing trend where women are delaying marriage and having fewer children"[2]. Meantime, girls can write an entire page of "men must", "real men do", "real men are" towards men. But that's OK! So, I was decided to be a better man.
I gained some muscle. I enrolled simultaneously in gym classes, a Buddhist center and a cinema course. And I made a therapy to eliminate my shyness. I learned to drive and I bought a truck to offer transportation services. I got a horse, too. I got a hat. I made some courses. I gained a column in a newspaper. So, I could start to chat with some women in my everyday contacts about cinema, astrology, bodybuilding, agriculture, traveling, books, culinary arts, TV and banalities. Only moderated conversations, if they were sympathetic to me and they had not a stupid husband. But, God only knows, I could have my pretty wife. Before I could draft some approach to a woman who interested me, better, when I was in a crowded bus before I could even find one, I touched accidentally a cow and she screamed and threatened to call the police for sexual harassment. Of course, since she was fuckingly ugly and unbalanced, nobody took her seriously, though she had a postdegree in Pedagogy. But if that was not a rush hour and a policeman could arrive there, he would arrest me for rape.
But I had to be a super ultra man, so I could match up with the modern women, who are lively, interesting and inspiring to be around. I had to have a degree. In the college, I heard once vaguely about male suicide, but in a board of a department, there was an article by a female teacher proving that the regulation of air conditioning is macho[3]. I had never a girl coming to me calling me for a fuck, but Conservative women had been saying college girls were "easy". Seeking a prostitute was dangerous, seeking casual sex was risky because of rejection from girls and she could say it was abuse, but Feminist girls had been saying the society was made to please men. But let teachers and students discuss Feminism, Socialism or Conservatism. I was there to learn Mining Engineering.
While I was in college, I tried to seek prostitutes. I am only seeking good sex, but I will be labeled as a criminal, because prostitution is crime in this country. Well, it can be better to watch porn in the apartment I divided with some colleagues. They used a special scheme, because online pornography is blocked nationwide. But pornography and prostitution are for failed men, though well-succeeded women don't seek men.
I concluded my course. I was residing alone. I was taken as a good man in my circles. I helped some poors, I engaged in community issues. I was a barbecue maker, a bricklayer, an electrician, a truck driver, a gardener. Oh, a mining engineer, too. I had a regular job, only salary is good, in an enterprise where 70% of staff were women, but a nice girl who was interested in me, I knew her in a church. Her parents and brothers greeted me with an ugly face when I went her home the first time. But I kept waking up and going to sleep every day wanting to show myself more beautiful to her, stronger for her, more rich to her, more man for her.
And, finally, I said her and her family I was willing to adhere to a project of men raising children and taking home care in order to their wives to work[4]. I knew that my wife in my job would not be like a picnic, but I would do it for her.
One day, I woke up perceiving I was TOO MUCH man, too much human for this all. It's not only the girls. Whatever skilled I am, labour market will treat me as disposable and overpaid. Ah, someone said me to check my hormones before she taught me how to become attractive for women. Which women, after all?
Ah, Feminism defends that: 1) Men's Rights Activism to be seen as childish, stupidity, backwardness or police matter; 2) men should not criticize women or react to whatever they are or do; 3) women to have the same rights men have.
NOTES:
[1] "Yanagisawa sexist remark draws Abe ire", Japan Times, January 30, 2007, http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2007/01/30/national/yanagisawa-sexist-remark-draws-abe-ire.
[2] "Sexist views dent Abe's push for women's rights", Japan Times, June 28, 2014, http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2014/06/28/national/sexist-views-dent-abes-push-womens-rights.
[3] "Women shiver at work in 'sexist' air conditioning", The Telegraph, August 03, 2015, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11780469/Women-shiver-at-work-in-sexist-air-conditioning.html.
[4] "Prime Minister Shinzo Abe wants men to take more active roles in child rearing under a campaign dubbed the 'ikumen' project, which translates as men raising children" ("To boost economy, recruiting stay-at-home dads", Japan Times, April 30, 2014, http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2014/04/30/business/economy-business/boost-economy-recruiting-stay-home-dads). "Plans adopted to import foreign housekeepers in name of female empowerment", Japan Times, October 10, 2014, http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2014/10/10/national/social-issues/plans-adopted-to-import-foreign-housekeepers-in-name-of-female-empowerment.
Appendixes
| "Herbivorous men, where's the beef?", The Japan Times, December 17, 2011. Available at http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2011/12/17/our-lives/herbivorous-men-wheres-the-beef. |
Herbivorous men, where's the beef?
by Amy Chavez
December 17, 2011
My single Japanese girlfriends complain that there are no interesting guys out there. Could they be right? It seems that these days the average Japanese guy is, well, you know, kinda boring. Kinda quiet. Nothing wrong with being quiet of course, especially if you have nothing to say.
The Japanese media has coined these men "herbivores" or "grass-eaters" (soushoku danshi). They are non-competitive, concentrate on personal grooming (yay!), are frugal, and lack an interest in sex. Now, I am totally for the quiet contemplative, sensitive type. Frugal? Okay. But no sex? Sex is free.
People have been having sex for ever (obviously). Animals have sex, insects have sex (really good sex too), so I am concerned about what will happen to these men. Someone needs to check their hormones. It's enough to make you think maybe their lack of sexual desire stems from feelings of inadequacy. "I'm too quiet, too skinny and too contemplative to be sexually attractive." (Hey, you're right!). If men don't start taking an interest in sex, the Japanese race may become extinct.
It's no wonder some Japanese women aren't all that happy with these grass-eaters who prefer to graze in their own pastures wiling the day away like Ferdinand the Bull.
I think the problem with men is just that they aren't very "manly" anymore. They're not even "menly." I myself am not very impressed with the modern Japanese male. I am, however, very impressed with his girlfriend or wife. These women are lively, interesting and inspiring to be around.
So, what's a modern girl to do? Give advice to men! Here are some tips for those men who suspect that after years of solitude and sexless lives, they ought to reclaim their manhood.
Switch your TV to the safari channel. A lot can be learned from the animal kingdom. Notice that a lion does not just sit around sleeping all day. When duty calls, they leave their computers for a few hours, chase some female lions, fight for one who is really hot, and goes home with them to live happily ever after. I'm not suggesting you draw blood, but do take an active role in your courting. If you're not feeling inspired by the safari channel, turn to the insect channel. That should really should do it.
Gain some weight. A lean look is fine, but not that lean! Don't leave your women saying where's the beef? Eat manly stuff — hamburgers or chanko nabe. Eat till it hurts — because you can. You're a man!
Gain some muscle. Japanese guys are not big on muscle, which is fine, but you should still be able to move furniture and get the lids off of jars. A little body building can't hurt. Stay in good shape. Be athletic. Take part in some sports. Yes, I said SPORTS! At least sports are something to talk about.
Grow some hair. Remember, man comes from Neanderthals, the original burly hunk-of-a-human. The trend away from the Neanderthal look has left the Japanese with hardly any hair left on their bodies. But if you are one of the fortunate ones who can, I recommend you grow a beard. Beards will at least distinguish you from women.
I saw a guy on TV the other day, probably born in the '70s, who was so hairy he looked like a reincarnated shag rug carpet. With legs. Very impressive. Don't ever forget where we came from — Neanderthals.
Learn to haul. Get yourself a four-wheel drive pick-up truck. Haul some dirt, farm animals, whatever, but haul! Real men haul.
Change your stance. Stand up straight, for god's sake. Then swashbuckle a bit. Swagger. Don't drag your heels in your slippers. Make those cowboy boots do something.
Raise an animal: a horse or cow, perhaps. Learn to ride a horse. That's what 4-H is all about in my country: Making men out of pet-owners. Perhaps you could start your own 4-H club or Boy Scout troop for 30-year-olds.
Wear a hat. A hat makes a man. Imagine the Marlboro Man without his cowboy hat, or Frank Sinatra without his top hat. You need something that defines you. In addition to ten-gallon hats, cowboy boots are manly and belts with big silver buckles are manly.
Do something! So many men sit around and do nothing. I hardly see women like this. Go out and cut loose! Assert yourself. Buck and kick up your heels. Go camping or kayaking. Climb a mountain. Make it a habit to get out of doors and enjoy the fresh air and nature. Yes, you may take your cellphone with you. No, you can't take your pocket mirror.
Lastly, get rid of your mothers. Stop letting them do everything for you. Since single men in Japan tend to live with their parents until they do get married, I'm convinced that this motherly love and fawning over them makes men gradually more worthless. Don't let it happen to you. Do your own laundry, cook for your mother, and learn how to take care of yourself.
If, on the other hand, you are in the position of giving a herbivore a gift, change his life by giving him something manly, like a toolkit. Give him something that has the potential to bring the entire family happiness.
For those who decide to reclaim their manhood, I suspect the result will be men who are lively, interesting, inspiring and able to perpetuate the species.
| "Mulher demais", Martha Medeiros, unknown date in decade of 2000. |
Too much woman
Martha Medeiros
After a long time saying that I was the woman of his life, one day I get an email saying, "look, there's no way".
OK, we was almost killing one another and that dating really was over, but we do not end any love story (and I still loved him very much) with an e-mail, is not it? I called him up to try to talk and to finish this all decently and he said, "but now I am eating a snack with friends".
Anyway, I was to die a few weeks until I decided I needed to be a better woman for him. Maybe if I become prettier, more balanced and more intelligent, he does not come back to me?
That was how I enrolled simultaneously in gym classes, a Buddhist center and a cinema course.
In the months that followed, I became of the beings most grizzled, calm, spiritual and cinephile in the planet. And you know what happened? Nothing, absolutely nothing, he continued not remembering that I existed.
I thought it could not stay that way, no way, I had to be even better for him, yes, he had to come back to me anyway! For that, I left once the advertising, which I could not bear, and I decided to commit myself in the career of writer, I participated in several books, I finished my own book, I gained new columns in magazines, I got fivefold the number of readers of my site and nothing happened.
But I'm of Taurus and I do not give up just like that of a love, and so I decided I had to be a super ultra woman for him, just so he would come back to me.
Then I spent 35 days in Europe, only in my own company, knowing genial places, controlling my panic about being alone and away from home, becoming more educated and experienced.
I returned from the trip and not a sign of life.
I started a documentary with a great friend, I learned how to do striptease, I had cut my hair numerous times, I increased therapy, I had read about 30 books more, I helped the poor, I prayed to Saint Anthony about 1,000 times, I blew myself in the sun, I did thousands of courses of script, astrology and history, I learned to swim, I fell in love with the beach, I bought all the most beautiful clothes in Paris.
As a last chance to be the best woman in the planet, I decided to reside alone. I rented a charming apartment, I decorated it brilliantly, I called friends to the opening, I served good wine and edibles made, of course, by me, also finally I learned to cook. Result of all this: absolute silence.
Time passed, I kept waking up and going to sleep every day wanting to be happier for him, more beautiful to him, more woman for him.
Until something amazing happened...
One day I woke up so beautiful, so happy, so well-resolved, so woman, that I ended up becoming TOO MUCH woman for him. He who, after all?
Questo testo in italiano senza filmati di dissolutezza in Men of Worth Newspaper: "Ragazzi, siate troppo uomini essendo impegnati in essere uomini abbastanza per impressionare le donne (per il 19 di novembre, Giornata Internazionale Dell'Uomo)", http://avezdoshomens2.over-blog.com/2016/11/ragazzi-siate-troppo-uomini.html. Questo testo in italiano con filmati di dissolutezza in Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía: "Ragazzi, siate troppo uomini essendo impegnati in essere uomini abbastanza per impressionare le donne (per il 19 di novembre, Giornata Internazionale Dell'Uomo)", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2016/11/ragazzi-siate-troppo-uomini-essendo.html. 
Ce texte en français sans films de libertinage au Men of Worth Newspaper: "Garçons, soyez trop d'hommes en s'engager à être assez hommes pour impressionner les femmes (pour le 19 novembre, la Journée Internationale des Hommes)", http://avezdoshomens2.over-blog.com/2016/11/garcons-soyez-trop-d-hommes.html. Ce texte en français avec films de libertinage au Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía: "Garçons, soyez trop d'hommes en s'engager à être assez hommes pour impressionner les femmes (pour le 19 novembre, la Journée Internationale des Hommes)", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2016/11/garcons-soyez-trop-dhommes-en-sengager.html. 
Eso texto en español sin películas de putaría en Men of Worth Newspaper: "Muchachos, sean demasiados hombres comprometidos en ser lo suficientemente hombres para impresionar a las mujeres (para el 19 de noviembre, el Día Internacional de los Hombres)", http://avezdoshomens2.over-blog.com/2016/11/muchachos-sean-demasiados-hombres.html. Eso texto en español con películas de putaría en Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía: "Muchachos, sean demasiados hombres comprometidos en ser lo suficientemente hombres para impresionar a las mujeres (para el 19 de noviembre, el Día Internacional de los Hombres)", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2016/11/muchachos-sean-demasiados-hombres.html. 
This text in English without licentiousness movies at Men of Worth Newspaper: "Boys, be too much men engaging in being men enough to impress women (for November 19, International Men's Day)", http://avezdoshomens2.over-blog.com/2016/11/boys-be-too-much-men.html. This text in English with licentiousness movies at Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía: "Boys, be too much men engaging in being men enough to impress women (for November 19, International Men's Day)", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2016/11/boys-be-too-much-men-engaging-in-being.html. 
Texto original em português sem filmes de putaria no A Vez das Mulheres de Verdade: "Meninos, sejam homens demais engajando-se em ser homens o suficiente para impressionar as mulheres (para 19 de novembro, Dia Internacional do Homem)", http://avezdasmulheres.over-blog.com/2016/11/meninos-sejam-homens-demais.html. Texto original em português com filmes de putaria no A Vez dos Homens que Prestam: "Meninos, sejam homens demais engajando-se em ser homens o suficiente para impressionar as mulheres (para 19 de novembro, Dia Internacional do Homem)", http://avezdoshomens.blogspot.com/2016/11/meninos-sejam-homens-demais-engajando.html.
