Why do women wear sexy clothes if they don't want attention? Because what they hate is sex, not attention from men (August 29, Lesbian Visibility Day in Brazil, we'll give lesbians visibility)

Why do women wear sexy clothes if they don't want attention?

They do want attention, but if you need to ask, then they don't want it from you.

Emma Lindsay

You can connect with me on fb here if you like: https://www.facebook.com/protectingthecrushed/

Jul 5

V Threepio — Sexy Cosplay Lady

I don't wear sexy clothes. I don't wear makeup. I don't shave — anything. None of that stopped me from getting sexually assaulted, catcalled, harassed, and stalked. I have suffered because men are sexually attracted to me, and no choice I make will stop this. Refusing to conform to the norms of sexual attractiveness does not stop it. Binding my breasts does not stop it. Being read as gay does not stop it.

So why fucking bother?

If I'm going to be harassed no matter what, why not look good for the people who are respectful and who I might actually want to fuck?

I have spent a long time blaming myself for the harassment I've received, and every time that happens, I cut out another part of myself. I stop wearing things that I think I look good in so that I don't accidentally turn people on. I stop flirting with people, I stop casually affectionate touch in case it is misread. I even stopped consciously recognizing my own sexual desire in case I accidentally communicated it to other people.

I read the saddest email I sent a few years ago:

Your continued affection makes me uncomfortable. It's the same feeling as when someone I'm not into holds me in a hug too long, or someone I don't like enough grabs my boob as a joke. It's a creepy sort of feeling. I don't look down on you or think of you as a bad person or a fool, but continued conversation with you makes me feel violated in a small way. And it's ok, I'm willing to tolerate it if it helps you, but your love does not feel good to me and you should know that.

I told someone I was willing to tolerate feeling violated so that they could feel better. And, that's how I used to look at the word. I felt obligated to suffer to any degree so that male sexuality would not be inconvenienced. I carried immense guilt for men who were attracted to me and whose attractions I did not return. But, my sexuality completely shut down, and I was left unable to form romantic connections to anyone. Being unsexy led to a miserable, sterile dead end.

Why do women wear sexy clothes?

Because women are fucking horny! Because there are few socially acceptable outlets for women to communicate desire, but how they dress is one of them. Because women are looking to get fucked, just like men are.

If they're horny, why don't women appreciate your flirting with them?

I dunno — maybe because you're unattractive? I always wonder why this option never occurs to men. If a woman was rejected by a dude, her first thought would be "I'm not hot enough" but when a man is rejected by a woman, often his first thought seems to be "bitch should have taken it."

Pickup artists get a lot of flack, but there's one thing I appreciate about them: they study what turns women on, then try to embody it. If we could take some of the misogyny out of the whole thing I'm convinced the art of pickup could actually be good for society. In fact, I think part of the reason that there is so much misogyny in the community is that it is so socially unacceptable for a man to make a conscious effort to be attractive to women that many pickup artists have to maintain high levels of sexism to keep their masculinity preserved.

While sexy clothing may be one of the few socially available options for straight women to express their sexuality, it is an option often denied to straight men. Straight mythology demands that the woman be the object, and the man be the aggressor. And, similarly to how a straight women expressing an overt sexual agency opens herself up to violence, a straight man who tries too hard to be hot opens himself up to ridicule. Many pickup artists are derided for their over the top fashion choices, that they have carefully selected to turn women on.

Which is a shame.

Maybe all those dudes asking "why do women dress sexy if they don't want attention?" should be putting a little more time into their own image. Straight men should make a feminist statement by figuring out how to be hotter to women while also not becoming assholes.

Then they should get on Tinder in SF because, seriously, that shit is bleak right now.

"Why do women wear sexy clothes if they don't want attention?", Medium, July 05, 2016, https://medium.com/@emmalindsay/why-do-women-wear-sexy-clothes-if-they-dont-want-attention-16e078026010

My comments

You say women have sexual desire like men have, and you are in panic when men are interested in you. Well, you believe men are misogynist, they hate women and they use them as sexual objects. Did you mean that men and women are similar because women are misandric, they hate men and they use them as objects for vanity games? Thank you, stupid lesbian. (I commented in originals)

As we saw here, a lesbian can be dressed provocatively and can say she likes sex with no other goal beyond to mock, to despise and to vilify men and their heterosexuality. She hates men and sex, not male attention. And, I insist, a woman who doesn't show an interest in men similar to the one that men show in women is a lesbian.

In my adolescence, I had many glimpses from men while my body was becoming developed. I received some bad approaches, too. But I replied them criticizing the stupidity, not the male heterosexuality. One thing is liking women, another thing is disrespect. I said it to some men, incidentally. But I saw some man looking at me and usually I approached him kindly, saying something as "good morning". The man usually became ashamed and I said "keep calm, you can stay looking at my body, I am not annoyed about it". Sometimes, I was accompanied with my father or some of my male brothers. So (not only when I was not alone), we had a brief chat, but I made some friendships this way. If I could not find any reason else to have sex with a good typical man or to wear clothes which allow him to see my body, I would keep in mind that giving something good to good men must not make me feel bad.

P. S.: Three days ago, 52 days after, that authoress wrote "On being single, 32, and wanting children", in which she says: "I'm pretty sure I want kids. Like, 75% sure". Chy, chy, chy, chy, chy!

Abigail Pereira Aranha

	Questo testo in italiano senza filmati di dissolutezza in Men of Worth Newspaper: "Perché le donne indossano abiti sexy se loro non vogliono l'attenzione? Perché quello che loro odiano è il sesso, non è l'attenzione da parte degli uomini (29 di agosto, Giorno della Visibilità Lesbica in Brasile, vi daremo alle lesbiche visibilità)", http://avezdoshomens2.over-blog.com/2016/08/perche-le-donne-indossano-abiti-sexy-se-loro-non-vogliono-lattenzione.html.
	Questo testo in italiano con filmati di dissolutezza in Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía: "Perché le donne indossano abiti sexy se loro non vogliono l'attenzione? Perché quello che loro odiano è il sesso, non è l'attenzione da parte degli uomini (29 di agosto, Giorno della Visibilità Lesbica in Brasile, vi daremo alle lesbiche visibilità)", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2016/08/perche-le-donne-indossano-abiti-sexy-se.html.
	Ce texte en français sans films de libertinage au Men of Worth Newspaper: "Pourquoi les femmes portent des vêtements sexy si elles ne veulent pas attention? Parce que ce qu'elles détestent est le sexe, pas l'attention des hommes (29 Août, Journée de Visibilité Lesbienne au Brésil, nous allons donner lesbiennes la visibilité)", http://avezdoshomens2.over-blog.com/2016/08/pourquoi-les-femmes-portent-des-vetements-sexy-si-elles-ne-veulent-pas-attention.html.
	Ce texte en français avec films de libertinage au Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía: "Pourquoi les femmes portent des vêtements sexy si elles ne veulent pas attention? Parce que ce qu'elles détestent est le sexe, pas l'attention des hommes (29 Août, Journée de Visibilité Lesbienne au Brésil, nous allons donner lesbiennes la visibilité)", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2016/08/pourquoi-les-femmes-portent-des.html.
	Eso texto en español sin películas de putaría en Men of Worth Newspaper: "¿Por qué las mujeres usan ropa atractiva si ellas no quieren llamar la atención? Debido a que lo que ellas odian es el sexo, no la atención de los hombres (29 de agosto, Día de la Visibilidad Lesbiana en Brasil, vamos a dar a las lesbianas visibilidad)", http://avezdoshomens2.over-blog.com/2016/08/por-que-las-mujeres-usan-ropa-atractiva-si-ellas-no-quieren-llamar-la-atencion.html.
	Eso texto en español con películas de putaría en Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía: "¿Por qué las mujeres usan ropa atractiva si ellas no quieren llamar la atención? Debido a que lo que ellas odian es el sexo, no la atención de los hombres (29 de agosto, Día de la Visibilidad Lesbiana en Brasil, vamos a dar a las lesbianas visibilidad)", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2016/08/por-que-las-mujeres-usan-ropa-atractiva.html.
	This text in English without licentiousness movies at Men of Worth Newspaper: "Why do women wear sexy clothes if they don't want attention? Because what they hate is sex, not attention from men (August 29, Lesbian Visibility Day in Brazil, we'll give lesbians visibility)", http://avezdoshomens2.over-blog.com/2016/08/why-do-women-wear-sexy-clothes-if-they-dont-want-attention.html.
	This text in English with licentiousness movies at Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía: "Why do women wear sexy clothes if they don't want attention? Because what they hate is sex, not attention from men (August 29, Lesbian Visibility Day in Brazil, we'll give lesbians visibility)", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2016/08/why-do-women-wear-sexy-clothes-if-they.html.
	Texto original em português sem filmes de putaria no A Vez das Mulheres de Verdade: "Por que as mulheres usam roupas sensuais se elas não querem atenção? Porque o que elas odeiam é sexo, não a atenção dos homens (29 de agosto, Dia da Visibilidade Lésbica no Brasil, nós vamos dar visibilidade às lésbicas)", http://avezdasmulheres.over-blog.com/2016/08/por-que-as-mulheres-usam-roupas-sensuais-se-elas-nao-querem-atencao.html.
	Texto original em português com filmes de putaria no A Vez dos Homens que Prestam: "Por que as mulheres usam roupas sensuais se elas não querem atenção? Porque o que elas odeiam é sexo, não a atenção dos homens (29 de agosto, Dia da Visibilidade Lésbica no Brasil, nós vamos dar visibilidade às lésbicas)", http://avezdoshomens.blogspot.com/2016/08/por-que-as-mulheres-usam-roupas.html.