vendredi 25 septembre 2015

The Puritan-Feminism episode 25: one week after Russia government censors PornHub, a right-wing Christian website celebrates it; meanwhile, an article in a British newspaper reports that researchers in Canada discovered that "porn does not cause negative attitudes to women", making angry an anti-porn feminist woman (Or: Christian right-wing, it's over! - part 5)

Abigail Pereira Aranha

Watching porn does not cause negative attitudes to women, study finds

Researchers have argued that pornography fans might be 'useful allies' in women's struggles for equality

Alexandra Sims

Saturday 12 September 2015

The average porn user may have more egalitarian views towards women than non-users, a contentious new study has suggested.

Researchers at Western University in Canada have even argued that many pornography fans might be "useful allies" in women's struggles for equality in the workplace and in public office.

Taylor Kohut, the study leader and a post-doctoral fellow in psychology, analysed data from 35 years of the General Social Survey, a US government-funded project that interviews around 24,000 men and women a year about a variety of issues.

They reported in the Journal of Sex Research that the 23 per cent of people who said they had watched an "X-rated" film during the previous year were no more or less likely to identify as feminists than those who did not watch porn.

They also found that, on average, porn-watchers expressed more positive attitudes towards women in positions of power, as well as less negative attitudes towards abortion and women in the workforce.

Kohut said: "I'd rather not live in a culture where our government decide to regulate [or] outlaw behaviour or material because they assume it's harmful. I'd rather they demonstrate it is, first."

Supporting the study Christopher Ferguson, a psychology professor at Texas A&M International University, said that gauges of male aggression such as rape and domestic violence have actually been decreasing throughout the Internet era, the National Post reported.

Dr Ferguson said: "I think if porn were going to ruin society, it's already had 20 years to do it ... And it's not happened."

Kohut said that the results may partly be explained by the fact that porn users are more likely to be liberal people, where as non-users are more likely to be conservative or religious.

The study, however, has been met with much criticism.

Gail Dines, a leading anti-pornography activist, told the National Post: "Maybe some of these guys do believe in abortion more, maybe they do believe women should hold office more, but... Men have less interest in actual sex with a real woman; they want to act out the porn sex."

Dines also questioned the value of the Kohut's data, arguing that as the average age of the study's respondents was 45 it did not represent teenagers and young men, a key demographic of porn users.

The Independent, September 12, 2015, http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/watching-porn-does-not-cause-negative-attitudes-to-women-study-finds-10498204.html

Russia Blocks World's Biggest Porn Site

Media watchdog takes action

by Joseph Pelletier • September 15, 2015

MOSCOW, September 15, 2015 (ChurchMilitant.com) - Russia has blocked access to the world's biggest pornography website.

The communications watchdog arm of the Russian government, Roskomnadzor, announced in a statement Monday that a ban on the Russian edition of PornHub and ten other pornographic websites has been enacted in an effort to clamp down on unlawful pornographic content. A court ruling from the city of Krasnodar that determined the adult sites violated federal laws concerning the protection of minors from "harmful information" has been cited as the reason.

A spokesman for the porn site in question released a statement saying the company "can confirm that Roskomnadzor has blacklisted Pornhub in Russia and [they] are currently investigating and considering available means to reinstate [the] website in Russia."

Roskomnadzor cautioned in a statement Monday that the price for distribution of illegal pornographic content online can be a prison sentence of two to six years. Russia however is no stranger to porn censorship. In April this year Roskomnadzor announced that 136 adult sites were to be blocked.

But the restrictions aren't limited to smut: The Russian watchdog group temporarily banned both Wikipedia and social media site Reddit; both sites were reinstated after receiving Roskomnadzor-approved edits.

Additionally, Roskomnadzor announced last week via its VKontakte social network page that it was now also illegal to make Internet memes featuring exaggerated or fabricated caricatures of public figures. It cited a violation of Russian legislation on personal information in addition to besmirching "the honor, dignity and business reputation of public figures."

Joseph Pelletier is a staff writer for ChurchMilitant.com

ChurchMilitant.com, September 15, 2015, http://www.churchmilitant.com/news/article/russia-versus-porn

Comments by Men of Worth Newspaper / Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía

Firstly, I thank for the friendship of Bradon Kamato and Eduardo Moraes and their contribution by sharing with me, respectively, the first and the second article reproduced here. In Facebook, everything my best friends see about licentiousness, church and licentiousness, politics and licentiousness, anti-feminism and pornography or prostitution, they think about me. I am happy with this, this is a premium for my modest work.

The first link in the article by ChurchMilitant.com is to the article by Russia Insider which reproduces the article "Media Watchdog Blocks Access to Russian PornHub, 10 More Adult Sites", published September 08 at The Moscow Times (http://www.themoscowtimes.com/article/529636.html). Thus, these two articles were published in the gap of one week after it.

And these articles have relation with a theme I was approaching in my blogs in Portuguese in that same half-month: in that same day 08 of that article in The Moscow Times, I was posting my third text of the series "Christian right-wing, it's over!". In the first text, day 02, I said that "Socialism already shows its own problems, including unsustainability, since Russian Revolution. But it is not in agony, because the right-wing is already dead". Not only the Socialist militancy has undermined the Conservatives and the Christians before it could be visible, that speech of traditional family, chastity, Libertarianism has been defeated by liberals since mid nineteenth century. The two texts after this one, days 04 and 08, are examples of what I exposed in the first. In that "Christian right-wing, it's over! - part 1", I said: "Even I, a girl from the crowd with normal reasoning and an amateur work in the blogosphere, I have more confirmations, in the three years or three days after, of the opinions I talk and write than almost all of them interpret as the minimum of accuracy to someone to be worthy to be called expert or journalist". And I thought it was only in Brazil! I wrote on January 5, 2009:

Ah, and I am a witness that this censorship of sex for teenagers is nonsense. There are still two months for me to do 18 years old, I am watching some scenes of women having sex with two men, to share with my readers friends, while I am preparing this text. (...)

Filters for internet and spyware on behalf of protection of minor children crown the more traditional (and stupid) educational model: little information and a lot of prohibition. With this, parents think their children will know what they want, they will have the principles they want (the ones from their religion), they will marry virgin whom they want, they will have the friends they want and they will have the life they want (as themselves or worse). And the enemies of freedom can offer blandishments for these "kings of the home" without moral authority. Within their own interests (of the enemies of freedom).

("Em nome da proteção às crianças e aos adolescentes, vamos dar apoio a um Estado fascista-muçulmanóide?" - In the name of protecting children and adolescents, will we support a Fascist-Muslim-like State? -, http://avezdoshomens.blogspot.com.br/2009/01/em-nome-da-protecao-as-criancas-e-aos.html)

On the issue of pornography, that first article says too much. The work is "Is Pornography Really about 'Making Hate to Women'? Pornography Users Hold More Gender Egalitarian Attitudes Than Nonusers in a Representative American Sample" and can be seen at http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2015.1023427. I would say, not knowing about this work, that thoughts of male porn users about feminist issues would not be different of the ones of average men because average men are porn users and male porn users are average men. But this research indicates that porn users are MORE FEMINIST than average men. Dr. Taylor Kohut has a likely explanation, let us go back to it:

Porn users are more likely to be liberal people, where as non-users are more likely to be conservative or religious.

Well, some of male non-users are liberals in the worst groups, but these are an inexpressive minority. But I wrote in several texts in the last three months that myriads of very ethical and very intelligent persons had been delivered to the socialist militancy by the anti-intellectual puritan Christians until the left-wing governments and militants had shown, recently, that they are able to be even worse, and I wrote on April about how the lies in Christian environment about pornography will bury the Christianism ("Lies that do not work and the truth about pornography: why does not tarry full burial of Christianity", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2015/04/lies-that-do-not-work-and-truth-about.html). Fuck! Incidentally, I wrote "The Puritan-Feminism episode 9: some conservative and evangelical women uniting with feminists to censor pornography (and what else?)" (http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-puritan-feminism-episode-9-some.html) in December 2013, about Gail Dines, mentioned in this article, joining with feminine Christian leaderships in Canada, where those researchers are, to censor porn in internet countrywide as happened in United Kingdom, where the author of this article Alexandra Sims was.

Does it sound boring the "I wrote" in the previous paragraph? Here's the point! How much is the confirmation rate of Conservative Christian analysis about whatever? Incidentally, how about the legalization of pedophilia or the "socialization of the women" which Karl Marx refuted in mid nineteenth century? In that article, there are not surprises to male porn fans, but here is a researcher saying something very similar to tens of serious researches published in the last 20 years at minimum, destroying hoaxes used for decades by Christian preachers and lesbo-feminists as if they had some basis in the reality.

But we have two cases of a theory not surrendering to the facts. In the first article, Gail Dines, not showing arguments by her own, put a real scientific work in doubt only because of its conclusion. In the second article, a government bureau applies a countrywide censorship under a claim tens of times refuted. Conservative Christians will give their applauses, more likely, to the humiliated orgasmless ugly lesbian in the first case and to the new Soviet Union in the second case. Ah, I was forgetting: studies indicating that porn acts in the brain as cocaine, as you know, is a lie. Ah, while we have seen the porn actresses Mercedes Carrera and Valentina Nappi having admirable performances against the anti-sexual "radical" Feminism, another pornstar, Belle Knox, presents herself at The Huffington Post as "a sex-positive feminist and an activist for sex-worker rights", she published there the article "I Don't Want Your Pity: Sex Work and Labor Politics" (April 14, 2014, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/belle-knox/sex-work-politics_b_5148528.html) and her unhappy case at Duke University when some cretins found out she was a pornstar was the inspiration to an episode in "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" ("Duke Porn Star Belle Knox On The 'SVU' Episode Based On Her Story", October 24, 2014, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/24/duke-porn-star-svu_n_6041258.html).

The Socialism will be defeated only with the dissemination of the mental normality and of the individual power. It makes not sense speaking of individual liberties where the individual experience of the sexual pleasure is repressed through the criminalization of the pornography and of the prostitution. And the Christian right-wing will not be a cultural leadership force when a simple girl as I writes something, only by observation of everyday life plus normal reasoning, six years before it happens and they did not even realized what is going on even when it's already happening. The right-wing Christian puritanism is only surviving because and while the leftists can fit it in their own projects. Assuming that porn male costumers, and increasingly more porn female consumers, are liberal, what will we have? The Christian traditional churches will collapse, at least as they were known in 60's. The Conservative wing will collapse with them. The Liberalism will casually discard its more grotesque part, as if it was a stupid error or something "Conservative Christian", and that's all.

El Puritano-Feminismo episodio 25: una semana después que el gobierno de Rusia censura PornHub, un sitio web cristiano de derecha lo celebra; mientras tanto, un artículo en un periódico británico informa que investigadores de Canadá descubrieron que "el porno no provoca actitudes negativas hacia las mujeres", haciendo enojar a una feminista contra el porno (O: Derecha cristiana, ¡se acabó! - parte 5)

Abigail Pereira Aranha

Ver porno no provoca actitudes negativas hacia las mujeres, uno estudio encuentra

Los investigadores han argumentado que los fans de la pornografía podrían ser 'aliados útiles' en las luchas de las mujeres por la igualdad

Alexandra Sims

Sábado, 12 de septiembre de 2015

El usuario medio de la pornografía puede tener vistas más igualitarias hacia las mujeres que los no usuarios, un nuevo estudio contencioso ha sugerido.

Investigadores de la Universidad del Oeste de Canadá incluso han argumentado que muchos fans de pornografía podrían ser "aliados útiles" en las luchas de las mujeres por la igualdad en el lugar de trabajo y en los cargos públicos.

Taylor Kohut, el líder del estudio e investigador post-doctoral en Psicología, analizó datos de 35 años de la General Social Survey, un proyecto financiado por el gobierno de Estados Unidos que entrevista alrededor de 24.000 hombres y mujeres al año sobre una variedad de temas.

Ellos informaron en el Journal of Sex Research que el 23 por ciento de las personas que dijeron haber visto una película "X-rated" durante el año anterior no eran más o menos probables de identificarse como feministas que aquellos que no ven porno.

Ellos también encontraron que, en promedio, los espectadores del porno expresaron actitudes más positivas hacia las mujeres en posiciones de poder, así como actitudes menos negativas hacia aborto y las mujeres en la fuerza laboral.

Kohut dijo: "Preferiría no vivir en una cultura en la que nuestro gobierno decide regular [o] hacer ilegal la conducta o material porque supone que es perjudicial. Prefiero que ellos demostren que es, en primer lugar."

Apoyando el estudio, Christopher Ferguson, profesor de psicología en la Texas A & M International University, dijo que los captadores de la agresión masculina como la violación y la violencia doméstica en realidad han ido disminuyendo a lo largo de la era de Internet, informó el National Post.

Dr. Ferguson dijo: "Creo que si la pornografía fuese arruinar la sociedad, eso ya ha tenido 20 años para hacerlo... Y eso no ha pasado."

Kohut dijo que los resultados en parte pueden explicarse por el hecho de que los usuarios de pornografía tienen más probabilidades de ser personas izquierdistas, en tanto que los no usuarios son más propensos a ser conservadores o religiosos.

El estudio, sin embargo, ha sido recibido con muchas críticas.

Gail Dines, una destacada activista contra la pornografía, dijo al National Post: "Tal vez algunos de estos chicos creen en el aborto más, tal vez ellos creen que las mujeres deben ocupar cargos más, pero... Los hombres tienen menos interés en el sexo real con una mujer de verdad, quieren representar el sexo porno."

Dines también cuestionó el valor de los datos de Kohut, argumentando que como la edad media de los encuestados del estudio fue de 45, ella no representaba los adolescentes y los jóvenes, un grupo demográfico clave de los usuarios de porno.

The Independent, 12 de septiembre de 2015, http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/watching-porn-does-not-cause-negative-attitudes-to-women-study-finds-10498204.html

Rusia bloquea el mayor sitio web porno del mundo

Perro de vigilancia de medios toma medidas

por Joseph Pelletier • 15 de septiembre de 2015

MOSCÚ, 15 de septiembre de 2015 (ChurchMilitant.com) - Rusia ha bloqueado el acceso a la página web de pornografía más grande del mundo.

El brazo de vigilancia de comunicaciones del gobierno ruso, Roskomnadzor, anunció en un comunicado el lunes que la prohibición de la edición rusa de PornHub y otros diez sitios web pornográficos se ha promulgado en un esfuerzo por reprimir al contenido pornográfico ilegal. Un fallo de la corte de la ciudad de Krasnodar que determinó que los sitios para adultos violan leyes federales relativas a la protección de los menores frente a la "información dañina" ha sido citado como la razón.

Un portavoz de la página porno en cuestión emitió un comunicado diciendo que la compañía "puede confirmar que Roskomnadzor ha puso en lista negra el Pornhub en Rusia y [ellos] están investigando y considerando los medios disponibles para restablecer [el] sitio web en Rusia."

Roskomnadzor advirtió en un comunicado el lunes que el precio de distribución de contenido pornográfico ilegal en línea puede ser una pena de prisión de dos a seis años. Rusia, sin embargo, no es ajena a la censura al porno. En abril de este año, el Roskomnadzor anunció que 136 sitios para adultos debían ser bloqueados.

Pero las restricciones no se limitan a obscenidad: El grupo de vigilancia de Rusia prohibió temporalmente tanto Wikipedia cuanto el sitio de redes sociales Reddit; ambos sitios fueron reintegrados después de recibir modificaciones aprobadas por Roskomnadzor.

Además, Roskomnadzor anunció la semana pasada a través de su página de red social VKontakte que ahora también era ilegal hacer memes de Internet que ofrecen caricaturas exageradas o inventadas de las figuras públicas. Citó una violación de la legislación rusa en la información personal, además de mancillar "el honor, la dignidad y la reputación comercial de las figuras públicas."

Joseph Pelletier es un escritor del personal para ChurchMilitant.com

ChurchMilitant.com, 15 de septiembre de 2015, http://www.churchmilitant.com/news/article/russia-versus-porn

Comentarios de Men of Worth Newspaper / Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía

En primer lugar, doy gracias por la amistad de Bradon Kamato y Eduardo Moraes y su contribución al compartir conmigo, respectivamente, el primer y el segundo artículo reproducidos aquí. En Facebook, todo lo que mis mejores amigos veen sobre el libertinaje, la iglesia y el libertinaje, la política y el libertinaje, anti-feminismo y la pornografía o la prostitución, ellos piensan en mí. Estoy contenta con esto, este es un premio por mi trabajo modesto.

El primer link en el artículo de ChurchMilitant.com es el artículo de Rusia Insider que reproduce el artículo "Media Watchdog Blocks Access to Russian PornHub, 10 More Adult Sites" (Vigilancia de medios bloquea acceso a PornHub ruso, 10 más sitios para adultos), publicado 08 de septiembre en The Moscow Times (http://www.themoscowtimes.com/article/529636.html). Por lo tanto, estos dos artículos fueron publicados en el tiempo de una semana después de eso.

estos artículos tienen relación con un tema que yo acercaba en mis blogs en portugués en ese mismo medio mes: en ese mismo día 08 de ese artículo en The Moscow Times, yo estaba publicando mi tercer texto de la serie "Derecha cristiana, ¡se acabó!". En el primer texto, el día 02, yo dije que "el Socialismo ya muestra sus propios problemas, como falta de sostenibilidad, desde la Revolución Rusa. Pero no está en agonía, porque la derecha ya está muerta". No sólo la militancia socialista ha socavado los conservadores y los cristianos antes de que pudiera ser visible, aquello discurso de la familia tradicional, la castidad, libertarismo ha sido derrotado por los izquierdistas desde mediados del siglo XIX. Los dos textos después de éste, días 04 y 08, son ejemplos de lo que expuse en el primero. En aquello "Derecha cristiana, ¡se acabó! - parte 1", yo dijo: "Incluso yo, una chica de la muchedumbre con el razonamiento normal y una obra de aficionados en la blogosfera, tengo más confirmaciones, en los tres años o de tres días después, de las opiniones que hablo y escribo que casi todos ellos interpretan como el mínimo de exactitud para que alguien sea digno de ser llamado experto o periodista". ¡Y yo que pensaba que eso era sólo en Brasil! Yo escribí el 5 de enero de 2009:

Ah, y yo soy testigo de que esta censura del sexo para los adolescentes es una tontería. Aún quedan dos meses para que yo haga 18 años de edad, estoy viendo algunas escenas de mujeres tenendo relaciones sexuales con dos hombres, para compartir con mis lectores amigos, mientras yo estoy preparando este texto. (...)

Filtros para el Internet y el software espía en nombre de la protección de los hijos menores coronan el modelo educativo más tradicional (y estúpido): poca información y mucha prohibición. Con esto, los padres piensan que sus hijos conocerán quien ellos quieren, tendrán los principios que ellos quieren (los de su religión), se casarán virgenes con quien ellos quieren, van a tener los amigos que ellos quieren y van a tener la vida que ellos quieren (como ellos mismos o peor). Y los enemigos de la libertad pueden ofrecer halagos para estos "reyes de la casa" sin autoridad moral. Dentro de sus propios intereses (de los enemigos de la libertad).

("Em nome da proteção às crianças e aos adolescentes, vamos dar apoio a um Estado fascista-muçulmanóide?" - ¿En nombre de la protección de los niños y adolescentes, apoyaremos un Estado estilo fascista-musulmán? -, http://avezdoshomens.blogspot.com.br/2009/01/em-nome-da-protecao-as-criancas-e-aos.html)

Cerca del tema de la pornografía, aquello primer artículo dice demasiado. El trabajo es "Is Pornography Really about 'Making Hate to Women'? Pornography Users Hold More Gender Egalitarian Attitudes Than Nonusers in a Representative American Sample" (¿Es la pornografía realmente acerca de 'hacer odiar a las mujeres'? Usuarios de pornografía tenen más actitudes igualitarias de género que los no usuarios en una muestra representante para los Estados Unidos) y se puede ver en http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2015.1023427. Yo diría, sin saber acerca de este trabajo, que los pensamientos de los usuarios de porno masculinas sobre temas feministas no serían diferentes de los pensamientos de los hombres promedios porque los hombres promedios son usuarios de porno y usuarios de porno masculinos son hombres promedios. Sin embargo, esta investigación indica que los usuarios de pornografía son MÁS FEMINISTAS que los hombres promedios. El dr. Taylor Kohut tiene una explicación probable, vamos a volver a la misma:

Los usuarios de pornografía tienen más probabilidades de ser personas izquierdistas, en tanto que los no usuarios son más propensos a ser conservadores o religiosos.

Bueno, algunos de los no usuarios masculinos son izquierdistas en los peores grupos, pero estos son una minoría inexpresiva. Pero he escrito en varios textos en los últimos tres meses de que millares de personas muy éticas y muy inteligentes habían sido entregados a la militancia socialista por los cristianos puritanos anti-intelectuales hasta que los gobiernos y los militantes de izquierda habían demostrado, recientemente, que son capaz de ser aún peores, e yo escribió en abril de cómo las mentiras en lo ambiente cristiano acerca de la pornografía enterrarán el Cristianismo ("Mentiras que no funcionan y la verdad sobre la pornografía: por que no demora el completo enterramiento del Cristianismo", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2015/04/mentiras-que-no-funcionan-y-la-verdad.html). ¡Polla! Por cierto, yo escribí "El Puritano-Feminismo episodio 9: algunas mujeres conservadoras y evangélicas unindose con las feministas para censurar la pornografía (¿y qué más?)" (http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2013/12/el-puritano-feminismo-episodio-9.html) en diciembre de 2013, sobre Gail Dines, mencionada en este artículo, uniéndose con liderazgos cristianas femeninas en Canadá, donde los investigadores son, para censurar la pornografía en la Internet en el país como sucedió en Reino Unido, donde la autora de este artículo Alexandra Sims era.

¿Suena aburrido el "yo escribí" en el párrafo anterior? ¡Este es el punto! ¿De cuánto es la tasa de confirmación del análisis cristiano conservadoro sobre lo que sea? Por cierto, ¿qué hay de la legalización de la pedofilia o la "socialización de las mujeres", que Karl Marx refutó a mediados del siglo XIX? En ese artículo, no hay sorpresas para los fans de porno de sexo masculino, pero aquí está un investigador diciendo algo muy similar a decenas de investigaciones serias publicadas en los últimos 20 años al mínimo, destruyendo hoaxes utilizados durante décadas por predicadores cristianos y lesbo-feministas como si tenían alguna base en la realidad.

Pero tenemos dos casos de una teoría no rendirse a los hechos. En el primer artículo, Gail Dines, sin mostrar argumentos por su cuenta, poner un trabajo científico real en duda sólo por su conclusión. En el segundo artículo, una oficina de gobierno aplica una censura en todo el país en virtud de un reclamo decenas de veces refutadas. Los cristianos conservadores dará sus aplausos, más probablemente, a la lesbiana fea humillado orgasmless en el primer caso y la nueva Unión Soviética en el segundo caso. Ah, se me olvidaba: los estudios indican que los actos de pornografía en el cerebro como la cocaína, como ustedes saben, es una mentira. Ah, mientras hemos visto las actrices porno Mercedes Carrera y Valentina Nappi tenendo actuaciones admirables contra el Feminismo "radical" anti-sexual, otra estrella del porno, Belle Knox, presenta a sí misma en The Huffington Post como "una feminista positiva al sexo y activista por los derechos de las trabajadoras sexuales", ella publicó allí el artículo "I Don't Want Your Pity: Sex Work and Labor Politics" (Yo no quiero tu lástima: Trabajo Sexual y Política Laboral - 14 de Abril de 2014, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/belle-knox/sex-work-politics_b_5148528.html) y su caso infeliz en la Universidad de Duke, cuando algunos cretinos se enteraron que ella era una estrella porno, fue la inspiración para un episodio de "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" ("Duke Porn Star Belle Knox On The 'SVU' Episode Based On Her Story" - Pornostar de Duke Belle Knox en el episodio de "SVU" basato en su historia -, 24 de octubre de 2014, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/24/duke-porn-star-svu_n_6041258.html).

El Socialismo será derrotado sólo con la difusión de la normalidad mental y del poder individual. No tiene sentido hablar de las libertades individuales donde la experiencia individual del placer sexual es reprimida a través de la criminalización de la pornografía y de la prostitución. Y la derecha cristiana no será una fuerza liderazgo cultural cuando una chica sencilla como yo escribe algo, sólo mediante la observación de la vida cotidiana más el razonamiento normal, seis años antes de que suceda y ellos ni siquiera se dan cuenta de lo que está pasando incluso cuando eso ya está sucediendo. El puritanismo cristiano derechista solamente sobrevive porque y mientras los izquierdistas pueden encajarlo en sus propios proyectos. Suponiendo que los consumidores de porno masculinos, y cada vez más porno consumidores de porno femeninos, son izquierdistas, ¿qué vamos a tener? Las iglesias cristianas tradicionales se derrumbarán, al menos como se les conocía en los años 60. La ala conservadora se derrumbará con ellas. El izquierdismo casualmente descartará su parte más grotesca, como si fuera un error estúpido o algo "conservador cristiano", y eso es todo.

Il Puritano-Femminismo episodio 25: una settimana dopo governo di Russia censurare PornHub, un sito web cristiano di destra celebra; nel frattempo, un articolo in un giornale britannico riporta che ricercatori in Canada hanno scoperto che "porno non provoca atteggiamenti negativi per le donne", facendo arrabbiare una donna femminista anti-pornografia (Oppure: Destra cristiana, è finito! - parte 5!)

Abigail Pereira Aranha

Guardare porno non provoca atteggiamenti negativi per le donne, secondo uno studio

I ricercatori hanno affermato che i fan di pornografia potrebbe essere 'alleati utili' nelle lotte delle donne per l'uguaglianza

Alexandra Sims

Sabato, 12 di settembre di 2015

L'utilizzatore medio di porno può avere viste più egualitari verso le donne rispetto ai non utilizzatori, ha suggerito un nuovo studio polemico.

I ricercatori della Western University in Canada hanno anche sostenuto che molti fan della pornografia potrebbe essere "alleati utili" nelle lotte delle donne per l'uguaglianza sul lavoro e negli uffici pubblici.

Taylor Kohut, il leader di studio e borsista post-dottorato in Psicologia, ha analizzato i dati di 35 anni di General Social Survey, un progetto finanziato dal governo degli Stati Uniti che intervista circa 24.000 uomini e donne ogni anno circa una serie di questioni.

Loro hanno riferito sul Journal of Sex Research che il 23 per cento delle persone che hanno detto di aver visto un film "X-rated" durante l'anno precedente non erano più o meno probabili di identificaresi come femministi rispetto a quelli che non guardano porno.

Loro hanno anche scoperto che, in media, gli espettatori del porno hanno espresso atteggiamenti più positivi nei confronti delle donne in posizioni di potere, così come atteggiamenti meno negativi verso l'aborto e le donne nella forza di lavoro.

Kohut ha detto: "Preferirei non vivere in una cultura in cui il nostro governo decide di regolare [o] fare fuorilegge comportamento o materiale perché ipotizzano che sia dannoso. Preferirei che lo dimostrano che è, prima."

Sostenendo lo studio, Christopher Ferguson, professore di psicologia presso la Texas A & M International University, ha detto che i calibri di aggressione maschile come lo stupro e la violenza domestica sono stati effettivamente diminuendo in tutta l'era di Internet, il National Post ha riferito.

Il dottor Ferguson ha detto: "Penso che se il porno fosse andando a fare rovina alla società, è già avuto 20 anni per farlo... E esso non è accaduto."

Kohut ha detto che i risultati possono essere spiegati in parte dal fatto che gli utenti di porno hanno maggiori probabilità di essere persone di sinistra, dove come non utenti hanno più probabilità di essere conservatori o religiosi.

Lo studio, tuttavia, è stato accolto con molte critiche.

Gail Dines, una leader attivista anti-pornografia, ha detto al National Post: "Forse alcuni di questi ragazzi credono più in aborto, forse credono le donne dovrebbero ricoprire più uffici pubblici, ma... Gli uomini hanno meno interesse per il sesso reale con un donna vera; loro vogliono fare sesso porno."

Dines anche ha messo in dubbio il valore dei dati del Kohut, sostenendo che come l'età media degli intervistati dello studio era di 45, essa non rappresentava gli adolescenti ei giovani, un pubblico chiave di utenti di porno.

The Independent, 12 di settembre di 2015, http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/watching-porn-does-not-cause-negative-attitudes-to-women-study-finds-10498204.html

Russia blocca il più grande sito porno del mondo

Cane da guardia dei media interviene

da Joseph Pelletier • 15 di settembre di 2015

MOSCA, 15 di settembre di 2015 (ChurchMilitant.com) - La Russia ha bloccato l'accesso al più grande sito web di pornografia nel mondo.

Il braccio watchdog delle comunicazioni del governo russo, Roskomnadzor, ha annunciato in un comunicato lunedi che il divieto della edizione russa di PornHub e altri dieci siti pornografici è stato emanato nel tentativo di reprimere contenuti pornografici illegali. Una sentenza del tribunale della città di Krasnodar che ha determinato che i siti per adulti hanno violato leggi federali in materia di protezione dei minori da "informazioni dannose" è stata citata come la ragione.

Un portavoce del sito porno in questione ha rilasciato una dichiarazione dicendo che la azienda "può confermare che Roskomnadzor ha messo nella lista nera il Pornhub in Russia e [loro] stanno attualmente indagando e considerando i mezzi a disposizione per ripristinare [il] sito in Russia."

Roskomnadzor ha ammonito in un comunicato lunedi che il prezzo per la distribuzione di contenuti pornografici illegali on-line può essere una pena detentiva di due a sei anni. La Russia, però, non è estranea alla censura al porno. Nel mese di aprile di quest'anno, il Roskomnadzor ha annunciato che 136 siti per adulti dovevano essere bloccati.

Ma le restrizioni non sono limitati a oscenità: Il gruppo di controllo russo temporaneamente ha vietato la Wikipedia e il sito di social media Reddit; entrambi i siti sono stati reintegrati dopo aver ricevuto le modifiche approvati per Roskomnadzor.

Inoltre, Roskomnadzor ha annunciato la scorsa settimana attraverso la sua pagina di social network VKontakte che ora era anche illegale fare memi Internet che caratterizzano le caricature esagerate o fabbricati di personaggi pubblici. Ha citato una violazione della legislazione russa in materia di dati personali, oltre a sporcare "l'onore, la dignità e la reputazione commerciale di personaggi pubblici."

Joseph Pelletier è uno scrittore di personale per ChurchMilitant.com

ChurchMilitant.com, 15 di settembre di 2015, http://www.churchmilitant.com/news/article/russia-versus-porn

Commenti da Men of Worth Newspaper / Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía

In primo luogo, ringrazio per l'amicizia di Bradon Kamato ed Eduardo Moraes e il loro contributo condividendo con me, rispettivamente, il primo e il secondo articolo riprodotti qui. In Facebook, tutto che i miei migliori amici vedono su libertinaggio, chiesa e libertinaggio, politica e libertinaggio, anti-femminismo e la pornografia o prostituzione, loro pensano di me. Sono contenta di questo, si tratta di un premio per il mio lavoro modesto.

Il primo collegamento nell'articolo di ChurchMilitant.com è l'articolo di Russia Insider che riproduce l'articolo "Media Watchdog Blocks Access to Russian PornHub, 10 More Adult Sites" (Cane di guardia dei media bloccha l'accesso a PornHub russo, 10 altri siti per adulti), pubblicato 8 di settembre al The Moscow Times (http://www.themoscowtimes.com/article/529636.html). Quindi, questi due articoli sono stati pubblicati nello spazio di una settimana dopo di esso.

E questi articoli hanno relazione con un tema che stavo avvicinando a mio blog in portoghese in quello stesso mezzo mese: in quel giorno stesso 08 di quello articolo in The Moscow Times, stavo postando il mio terzo testo della serie "Destra cristiana, è finito!". Nel primo testo, giorno 02, ho detto che "il Socialismo mostra già i suoi stessi problemi, tra cui insostenibilità, dalla Rivoluzione Russa. Ma non è in agonia, perché la destra è già morta". Non solo la militanza socialista ha minato i conservatori ei cristiani prima che potesse essere visibile, quel discorso della famiglia tradizionale, la castità, Libertarismo è stato sconfitto dalle persone di sinistra dalla metà del XIX secolo. I due testi dopo questo, i giorni 04 e 08, sono esempi di ciò che ho esposto nel primo. In quello "Destra cristiana, è finito! - parte 1", ho detto: "Anche io, una ragazza dalla folla con ragionamento normale e un lavoro amatoriale nella blogosfera, ho più conferme, nei tre anni o tre giorni dopo, dei pareri che parlo e scrivo di quasi tutti loro interpretano come il minimo di accuratezza per qualcuno essere degno di essere chiamato esperto o un giornalista". E ho pensato che fosse solo in Brasile! Ho scritto il 5 di gennaio di 2009:

Ah, e io sono una testimonianza che questa censura del sesso per gli adolescenti è una sciocchezza. Ci sono ancora due mesi per me fare 18 anni, sto guardando alcune scene di donne facendo sesso con due uomini, per condividere con i miei lettori amici, mentre io sto preparando questo testo. (...)

Filtri per internet e spyware in nome della tutela dei figli minori coronano il modello educativo più tradizionale (e stupido): poche informazioni e un sacco di proibizioni. Con questo, i genitori pensano che i loro figli conosceranno chi loro vogliono, avranno i principi che loro vogliono (quelli da loro religione), che si sposeranno vergini con chi loro vogliono, avranno gli amici che loro vogliono e che avranno la vita che loro vogliono (come loro stessi o peggio). Ei nemici della libertà sono in grado di offrire lusinghe a questi "re della casa" senza autorità morale. Entro i propri interessi (dei nemici della libertà).

("Em nome da proteção às crianças e aos adolescentes, vamos dar apoio a um Estado fascista-muçulmanóide?" - In nome della tutela dei bambini e adolescenti, potremo sostenere uno Stato simile fascista-musulmano -, http://avezdoshomens.blogspot.com.br/2009/01/em-nome-da-protecao-as-criancas-e-aos.html)

Sulla questione della pornografia, quello primo articolo dice troppo. Il lavoro è "Is Pornography Really about 'Making Hate to Women'? Pornography Users Hold More Gender Egalitarian Attitudes Than Nonusers in a Representative American Sample" (La pornografia è davvero su 'fare odiare alle donne'? Utenti di pornografia contengono più atteggiamenti egualitarie di genere di non utenti in un campione rappresentativo degli Stati Uniti) e può essere visto in http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2015.1023427. Direi, non sapendo di questo lavoro, che i pensieri di utenti di porno di sesso maschile su questioni femministe non sarebbero diversi di quelli degli uomini medi perché gli uomini medi sono utenti di porno e utenti di porno di sesso maschile sono uomini medi. Ma questa ricerca indica che gli utenti di porno sono PIÙ FEMMINISTI degli uomini medi. Il dottor Taylor Kohut ha una spiegazione probabile, torniamo ad essa:

Gli utenti di porno hanno maggiori probabilità di essere persone di sinistra, dove come non utenti hanno più probabilità di essere conservatori o religiosi.

Beh, alcuni dei non utenti di sesso maschile sono di sinistra nei gruppi peggiori, ma questi sono una minoranza inespressiva. Ma ho scritto in diversi testi negli ultimi tre mesi che miriadi di persone molto etiche e molto intelligenti sono stati consegnati al militanza socialista dai cristiani puritani anti-intellettuali fino a quando i governi ei militanti di sinistra avevano mostrato, di recente, che sono in grado di essere ancora peggio, e ho scritto aprile su come le bugie in ambiente cristiano sulla pornografia seppelliranno il Cristianesimo ("Le bugie che non funzionano e la verità sulla pornografia: perché non si attardano il pieno sepoltamento del Cristianesimo", http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2015/04/le-bugie-che-non-funzionano-e-la-verita.html). Fanculo! Per inciso, ho scritto "Il Puritano-Femminismo episodio 9: alcune donne conservatrici ed evangelici uniscono con le femministe per censurare la pornografia (e che altro?)" (http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2013/12/il-puritano-femminismo-episodio-9.html) nel dicembre 2013, su Gail Dines, citata in questo articolo, unendosi con dirigenze cristiane femminili in Canada, dove sono quei ricercatori, per fare censura nazionale al porno in internet come è avvenuto nel Regno Unito, dove l'autora di questo articolo Alexandra Sims era.

Suona noioso il "ho scritto" nel paragrafo precedente? Ecco il punto! Cosa è il tasso di conferma dell'analisi cristiana conservatora di qualsiasi cosa? Tra l'altro, dove la legalizzazione della pedofilia o la "socializzazione delle donne", che Karl Marx ha confutato nella metà del XIX secolo? In questo articolo, non ci sono sorprese per i fan di porno di sesso maschile, ma qui è un ricercatore da dire qualcosa di molto simile a decine di seri studi pubblicati negli ultimi 20 anni al minimo, distruggendo truffe utilizzate per decenni da predicatori cristiani e lesbo-femministe come se avevano qualche fondamento nella realtà.

Ma abbiamo due casi di una teoria non arrendersi ai fatti. Nel primo articolo, Gail Dines, non mostrando argomenti dalla propria, mette un vero e proprio lavoro scientifico in dubbio solo per la sua conclusione. Nel secondo articolo, un ufficio governativo applica una censura nazionale sotto una richiesta decine di volte confutate. I cristiani conservatori daranno loro applausi, più probabilmente, per le lesbiche brutte senza orgasmo umiliate nel primo caso e per la nuova Unione Sovietica nel secondo caso. Ah, dimenticavo: studi che indicano che porno agisce nel cervello come la cocaina, come sapete, è una bugia. Ah, mentre abbiamo visto le attrici porno Mercedes Carrera e Valentina Nappi avendo prestazioni ammirevoli contro il Femminismo "radicale" anti-sessuale, un'altra pornostar, Belle Knox, si presenta nel The Huffington Post come "una femminista positiva al sesso e attivista per diritti delle lavoratrice sessuali", lei ha pubblicato lì l'articolo "I Don't Want Your Pity: Sex Work and Labor Politics" (Io non voglio la tua pietà: Lavoro Sessuale e Politica di Lavoro - 14 di aprile di 2014, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/belle-knox/sex-work-politics_b_5148528.html) e il suo caso infelice presso la Duke University, quando alcuni cretini hanno scoperto che lei era una pornostar, è stata l'ispirazione per un episodio di "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" ("Duke Porn Star Belle Knox On The 'SVU' Episode Based On Her Story" - Pornostar da Duke Belle Knox sull'episodio "SVU" basato sulla sua storia -, 24 di ottobre di 2014, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/24/duke-porn-star-svu_n_6041258.html).

Il Socialismo sarà sconfitto solo con la diffusione della normalità mentale e del potere individuale. Non ha senso in parlare di libertà individuali dove l'esperienza individuale del piacere sessuale è repressa attraverso la criminalizzazione della pornografia e della prostituzione. E la destra cristiana non sarà una forza leadership culturale quando una ragazza semplice come io scrive qualcosa, solo attraverso l'osservazione della vita di tutti i giorni più ragionamento normale, sei anni prima che accada e loro non hanno nemmeno capiti cosa sta succedendo anche quando già sta accadendo. Il puritanesimo cristiano di destra solo sta sopravvivendo perché e mentre la sinistra può adattarlo nei loro propri progetti. Supponendo che i consumatori di porno di sesso maschile, e sempre più porno consumatori di porno di sesso femminile, sono di sinistra, che cosa avremo? Le chiese cristiane tradizionali crolleranno, almeno come venivano chiamati in '60. L'ala conservatrice crollerà con loro. Il sinistrismo casualmente scartarà la sua parte più grottesca, come se si trattasse di un errore stupido o qualcosa di "conservatora cristiana", e questo è tutto.

mardi 15 septembre 2015

13 lies men tell themselves to stay in bad relationships

pinocchio puppet

Every now and again we tell ourselves lies in order to delay making difficult changes that we know are ultimately in our best interests. We justify, minimize, rationalize and avoid the issue either because we don't want to face the negative consequences of change (e.g., alimony or less time with our children) or are deriving some benefit or secondary gain.

For example, you know your wife treats you badly and feels no remorse for doing so. You know you should leave, but don't want to be alone. So you stay in an unhealthy relationship to avoid the temporary pain and grief that ending the relationship might cause.

Deciding to leave a bad relationship with an abusive woman should be a no-brainer, but it's often a painfully difficult and heart wrenching decision for a variety of reasons.

Here are some common lies men tell themselves in an effort to avoid making this choice:

1. I'm strong. I can take it. Maybe you can, but that doesn't mean that you have to take it or should take it. The relationship with your wife or girlfriend is supposed to be about intimacy, mutuality and love; not a sentence at Guantanamo Bay.

Furthermore, you can't take it, at least not without long-term, pervasive damage to yourself - your mind, body, other relationships, career and money. Abuse (emotional, psychological, sexual, physical and financial) takes its toll in the form of cumulative trauma, specifically betrayal trauma. Sooner or later, you'll develop PTSD-like symptoms and other stress-related medical conditions.

Yes, you're strong and that's an incredible, well . . . strength. You'd have to be strong to endure the covert and overt emotional abuse and host of other crazy-making, toxic behaviors. If you have the strength to survive (by the way, surviving and thriving are not the same) in this relationship, you also have the strength to end it, whether you realize it or not.

2. It's not that bad. Yes, it is. If you're using this particular lie in order to convince yourself to stay in the relationship, keep a journal for the next 30-60 days. Journal in whatever medium is comfortable for you and that you can easily hide from your wife or girlfriend (you do not want her to discover it). Record every outburst, every time she blindsides you, criticizes you, undermines you and rejects or withdraws from you and any physical violence. Read through it on the 31st day and then try telling yourself "it's not that bad."

Seeing the daily minutiae, the venomous attacks, the disconnection to reality and the disproportionate reactions to minor absurdities in black and white can be a real eye opener. Writing it down makes it difficult to minimize, negate or question your perceptions later on. It also gives you a great record of her unpredictable and abusive behaviors should you divorce her and need evidence for a custody battle or to negate false abuse charges by her.

Sisyphus

3. If I just work a little harder at the relationship, it will get better. I call this the "Sisyphus Syndrome." You keep pushing that boulder up the hill only to have it roll over you on its way back down. There's no winning with this woman. There's no pleasing her.

You can turn yourself inside out and upside down and it will never, ever, ever be enough. Even if you totally capitulate and submit, it won't satisfy her. In fact, this kind of woman will then insult your manhood and accuse you of being a spineless coward. No one respects a doormat - especially not an abusive high-conflict personality. She will break you and then blame you for being broken.

Bottom line: You may as well do what's good for you and, in the long run, for your kid(s) (if applicable). She'll never be happy, even if you do everything she wants you to do. Additionally, the more you focus on caring for yourself, the stronger you'll feel and be in a better place to decide if you want to stay in the abuse cycle or exit the relationship. Taking care of yourself will also have the added benefit of driving her mad. Abusers like easy targets.

4. All relationships have conflict. Conflict is healthy. Yes, but it depends on the kind of conflict, how it's handled and if it's resolvable. Blaming, name calling, demeaning, belittling and having the same fight over and over again isn't healthy conflict. Circular arguments that lead to nowhere or bringing up previous conflicts that happened months or years ago aren't healthy either.

Don't confuse her anger with passion. Never-ending irresolvable conflict isn't passion, it's pathology. Passion and intimacy require a certain degree of vulnerability. Becoming disproportionately enraged over minor issues (or things that never even happened) is a barrier to intimacy and passion. Rage often makes abusers feel powerful and invulnerable.

She desires total control and anger is the means to achieving that. It's also how to avoid intimacy. Constant criticism and other forms of abuse are not aphrodisiacs. Keeping you engaged in one pointless conflict after the next, so that you are perpetually Justifying, Arguing, Defending and Explaining (JADE) is a great way to keep you distracted. Do you even know what you're fighting about anymore or does it all seem like the same god damned thing? That's unhealthy conflict.

5. Things will get better if I'm more patient and pay closer attention to her needs and feelings. This is a variation of #3. This is also a trap. The nicer you are to this woman, the more she'll view you as weak and pathetic and interpret it as a license to steamroll you. Abusive personalities view kindness and generosity as weaknesses to exploit.

6. Sex and affection aren't important. Yes, they are. Enough said.

Seriously though, sex may not be the most important thing in a relationship, but it's right up there along with kindness and respect. Aside from shared pleasures, tension relief and physical closeness, there's oxytocin. Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter released during orgasm that's "associated with the ability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships and healthy psychological boundaries with other people." Good stuff.

Small signs of non-physical affection are equally important. It's not the infrequent big gestures that count; it's the little things a couple does for each other that really matter over the long haul. For example, picking up the other person's dry cleaning because you happen to be in that part of town, going to a chick flick when you'd rather gouge your eyes out with red hot pokers, making the other person's favorite dinner when it's not your fave, etc.

Emotionally abusive, narcissistic and borderline women are rarely affectionate, considerate or generous - unless they're playing an angle. Doing something nice for you is experienced as a loss or degradation. They don't give without the expectation of getting something in return. In other words, there are strings attached. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in a lopsided, nonreciprocal relationship?

7. But the sex is still good. This is a tough one. In my work, it's almost always more difficult when a man describes a litany of abuse he's suffered from his wife or girlfriend and concludes by saying, "But the sex is still good." If this resonates with you, ask yourself if the sex is about love and intimacy or if it's about screwing you into submission.

In these cases, sex is just another manipulation tool; another way to control you. The "great sex" also has nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing to do with you. It's about her feeling desirable (inflating her ego) and powerful. Some of my clients who are in relationships with hypersexual abusers eventually lose their desire even when their wife or girlfriend is still objectively "hot." This happens for a couple reasons.

One, due to the abuse outside the bedroom, they no longer trust their partners. Two, they come to realize they're being treated like human dildos. And three, no matter how beautiful their wives or girlfriends are on the outside, all they can see is the ugliness on the inside. If you're a man who rationalizes, "But the sex is still good," try going cold turkey for 60 days and then see how you feel.

8. My kid(s) are okay because she doesn't yell at them. Witnessing physical and emotional abuse is harmful to children, even when they're not being targeted. Just because your wife or girlfriend isn't currently attacking your children doesn't mean it's not affecting them.

What do you think your children are learning by observing mom's and dad's relationship dynamic? If you could choose a partner for your children when they're grown up, would you choose someone who is like their mother? By staying in the relationship, you're telegraphing that it's okay for the person who "loves" you to abuse you and that one individual's needs and feelings are more important than the other's. Additionally, when and if the children ever begin to assert their own identities and challenge mom in any way - that is if they're not terrified to do so after witnessing the way mom treats dad - they'll typically be subject to the same hot and cold abuse. This usually happens around age 10.

9. I'll lose my home, my kids and all my assets. Yes, you'll have to part with some of your assets and you won't be able to spend as much time with your children. However, if you're willing to fight like hell, prepare in advance and arm yourself with strong legal representation, you may be able to recoup your financial losses over time and hopefully forge a new and healthier relationship with your kids. Healthier because you're setting the example of not tolerating abuse in a relationship. Don't confuse being a martyr with being a parent.

Your kids are going to have issues, especially around relationships, whether you stay in the marriage or not. There's no avoiding that. It's a consequence of having children with an abusive, high-conflict or personality disordered individual. However, you'll be in a much better place to help them later on if you're healthy, strong and happy. This half lie/half truth is a fear that's often explicitly planted and encouraged by an abusive woman. She knows she has an advantage in family court just because she's a woman and she'll try to control you through your fear of loss and feelings of guilt.

10. Love conquers all. It all depends upon what you define as "love." To this kind of personality, love is control, anger and keeping others down in order to raise herself up. Do you really love her? Does your heart skip a beat when you think about her? *Please note, your heart skipping a beat should be accompanied by a smile on your lips and a twinkle in your eyes; not a panic attack.

If she wasn't your wife or girlfriend, is she the first person you'd want to hang out with? Do you feel loved and accepted for who you are? Or have you convinced yourself that you must love this woman otherwise why would you be trying so hard to make the relationship work?

Now follow the trail backwards and ask yourself where this belief came from. Has your wife or girlfriend told you it's your job to make her happy and that you "have to fight for this relationship"? Sorry fellas, that's not love; that's brainwashing. Break the spell.

11. I made a commitment and I honor my commitments. Okay, but is she honoring her commitments to you? Is she loving, honoring and cherishing you? I'm sure she thinks so. Are you honoring your commitments to yourself and your dignity as a human being? Are you respecting yourself by remaining in a destructive and abusive relationship? Are you living your best life by being with this woman or do you feel like you're serving a jail sentence?

When one partner abuses the other, she or he has reneged on the marriage vows (or other form of commitment). Abuse is a betrayal and you ultimately end up betraying yourself by staying in an abusive relationship.

12. But she needs me. Yes, she does, but not for the reasons you think. Abusers and bullies have to have a target. Narcissists, Borderlines, Sociopaths and Histrionic (Cluster B personality disorders) need narcissistic supply. This kind of person is a parasite and you're the host. She is feeding on you - whether it's for attention, money, social status or to appear "normal."

If and when you finally end your relationship, your head will probably spin at how quickly she replaces you. Oftentimes, abusers have back-up narcissistic supply waiting in the wings and, in time, she'll do to him what she's doing to you. Or, she won't recouple (at least not publicly) and portray herself as the Super Victim whose husband "abandoned" her. For the record, you don't abandon an adult, you leave an adult.

13. Everyone will think I'm a bad guy. Not true. Some people will think you're a bad guy because abusive people often conduct smear campaigns against their exes once the relationship ends. Sometimes, the smear campaign starts while you're still with them.

First of all, who cares what other people think? Let them try walking a mile in your shoes. Second, anyone who believes her BS without speaking with you isn't someone you want as a friend. Third, if you want to combat the smear campaign, speak up. Talk to the people who matter the most to you and let them know what's going on and the abuse you've suffered. Answer their questions. Stop protecting your abuser from the consequences of her behavior and take care of yourself!

Abusive women and men are liars - inveterate, pathological liars. Their lies will hurt you and engender profound feelings of betrayal, so don't compound matters by lying to yourself. "Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants; electric light the most efficient policeman" (Justice Louis D. Brandeis). Once you acknowledge the truth and reality of your relationship and exactly who and what your partner is, you can no longer lie to yourself. And that is the first step towards healing.

Say Goodbye to CrazyWant to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Shrink4Men Coaching, Counseling and Consulting Services:

Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides confidential, fee-for-service coaching, counseling and consulting to both men and women via telephone or Skype. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.

Photo credit:

Pinocchio puppet by Abstract-Thinking on flickr.

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Shrink4Men Services, August 29, 2015, http://shrink4men.com/2015/08/29/13-lies-men-tell-themselves-to-stay-in-bad-relationships

Original text in English at Shrink4Men Services: 13 Lies Men Tell Themselves to Stay in Bad Relationships, http://shrink4men.com/2015/08/29/13-lies-men-tell-themselves-to-stay-in-bad-relationships
Original text in English reproduced at Men of Worth Newspaper / Concrete Paradise: 13 Lies Men Tell Themselves to Stay in Bad Relationships, http://avezdoshomens2.blog.com/2015/09/15/13-lies-to-stay-in-bad-relationships
Original text in English reproduced at Periódico de Los Hombres de Valía / Paraíso Tangible: 13 Lies Men Tell Themselves to Stay in Bad Relationships, http://avezdoshomens2.blogspot.com/2015/09/13-lies-men-tell-themselves-to-stay-in.html
Tradução para o português no A Vez das Mulheres de Verdade: 13 mentiras que os homens dizem a si mesmos para permanecerem em maus relacionamentos, http://avezdasmulheres.blog.com/2015/09/15/13-mentiras-para-permanecerem-em-maus-relacionamentos
Tradução para o português no A Vez dos Homens que Prestam: 13 mentiras que os homens dizem a si mesmos para permanecerem em maus relacionamentos, http://avezdoshomens.blogspot.com/2015/09/13-mentiras-que-os-homens-dizem-si.html

samedi 12 septembre 2015

From Abigail's profile: how my daughter will look like, according to Nametests?

Amigos, eu comentei uma vez que lá pelos meus 40 anos, eu devo estar na zona rural criando galinhas. Essa vai ser uma delas. Se ainda existirem até lá, ela vai arrasar no cinema pornô ou na prostituição quando crescer. Só pra descontrair, pessoal.

(Fonte da imagem: http://pt.nametests.com/test/result/abigail/661067508/index_new)

Friends, I commented once that somewhen as my 40 years, I will probably be in rural areas raising hens. This will be one of them (the Brazilian Portuguese word for "hen" is a slang for wanton woman). If they still exist by then, she will rock in the porn cinema or in the prostitution when she grows up. Just to relax, folks.

(Image source: http://pt.nametests.com/test/result/abigail/661067508/index_new)

Amici, io ho commentato una volta che in qualche tempo come i miei 40 anni, io sarò probabilmente nelle aree rurali per allevare galline. Questa sarà una di loro (la parola in portoghese brasiliano per "gallina" è un gergo per donna lasciva). Se esistono ancora per allora, lei oscillarà nel cinema a luci rosse o nella prostituzione quando lei cresce. Solo per rilassarsi, gente.

(Fonte dell'immagine: http://pt.nametests.com/test/result/abigail/661067508/index_new)

Amigos, yo comenté una vez que alredor de mis 40 años, probablemente estaré en las zonas rurales criando gallinas. Esta será una de ellas (la palabra en portugués brasileño para "gallina" es un argot para mujer lasciva). Si que todavía existan por entonces, ella oscilará al cine porno o a la prostitución cuando sea mayor. Sólo para relajación, amigos.

(Fuente de la imagen: http://pt.nametests.com/test/result/abigail/661067508/index_new)

Abigail Pereira Aranha

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